Ask the Pastor















Still answering questions from our “Hot Seat” Sunday that we weren’t able to get to in service – this week’s question is about single adults who want to get married: What should you do when you want to marry, but just can’t seem to meet anyone? Can you pray for a mate? Is that something that God sends or that you search out with his blessing?”

Great questions, especially because SO MANY single adults, both male and female, are asking those as well.  Let me try to address each:

  1. I definitely encourage you to pray.  In fact, I would say, pray first.  (Your second question about praying for a mate is answered in Genesis 24:1-51.  I suppose some might point out that it wasn’t the single adults who prayed for a spouse, but rather Abraham’s servant praying on behalf of Isaac – but as far as I’m concerned, the principle remains the same – as verse 7 promised, the Lord sent His angel ahead of them and saw to it that he found a wife for Isaac, and verse 51 declares, “the Lord has directed”)  Call me old-school if you want, but I believe that just as God brought Eve to Adam and orchestrated the events to connect Rebekah with Isaac, HE can still send you a spouse in this day and age!
  2. However, I would also encourage you to do more than pray.  Just as Adam cooperated and Abraham’s servant made the journey and sought the right woman for Isaac, it will be important for you to look for God’s choice of a spouse.  I’m not opposed to online dating services, especially those with a Christian background, like or  Please understand: none of these sites is perfect and there may be unscrupulous people involved – so move cautiously with real discernment!
  3. While I do NOT recommend the bar scene, it also can be wise to attend Christian events and conferences, where you have the opportunity to meet other single adults who are also believers.
  4. Don’t be afraid to let others know of your desire to find God’s choice in a mate.  It may be that your mentors or other Christians that you know and admire could make a connection for you that might eventually lead to discovering God’s choice.

The last thing I’ll say is don’t compromise!  I’ve seen so many Christians “settle” for someone that was not a strong believer or perhaps not walking with the Lord at all, out of fear that they might never marry.  Trust me, almost everyone I know in that category soon regretted their decision.  Better to be single and serve the Lord, than to be married and miserable!

I hope this helps.  My heart is touched by the many godly men and women I know who sincerely want to be married, but remain single, and I pray for anyone reading this post that God would answer your prayers for a godly mate soon!

Would you care to join the conversation?  Leave a comment below, or add a question of your own for a future “Ask the Pastor” post.

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